I come from a blue-collar ruffian background from the mid-west with no shortage of pride and ego. As a result, I never understood that obstacles couldn’t be overcome through willpower alone. I thought only a weak-minded person would be asking for help. Men didn’t share their feelings, they saddled up, went to work and went about their business. This thought process kept me in the addictive cycle for over a decade. I hit rock bottom after rock bottom trying to figure things out on my own. Eventually all hope was lost. I was beaten into submission by my own doing and the only way out was to surrender.
Asking for Help With Addiction
Asking for help was extremely difficult. As I sat in my shame and guilt, I feared how others would view me from then on. Would there always be a stigma about me that I was lesser of a man? What I found through walking in the halls of recovery was this was nothing more than a false perception. It takes bravery and courage to admit you’re powerless over drugs and/or alcohol. However, that was the first step in my search for peace of mind and discovering what true character was all about.
Coming to Oregon Trail Recovery, I was always wearing my poker face. Moreover, I kept my feelings inside and found it hard to open up about problems that were at the core of what was eating away at me. Through my one-on-ones working with a counselor, I was able to slowly open up and realize I didn’t have all the answers. It was a necessity for me to step outside my comfort zone, feel uneasy at times and admit I needed help in dealing with certain issues.
Asking for Help at Oregon Trail Recovery
This was vital for self-realization and spiritual growth. Participating in groups Monday through Friday also was a huge aid in sorting through past wreckage. I was able to relate with peers dealing with similar circumstances and we all worked together towards one common goal, recovery. House Managers were yet another tool I was able to turn to help me through certain situations. Being that most House Managers went through the program themselves, they provided an example of how to succeed by being positive role models, yet showing how to set boundaries when need be.
This entire process was only made possible by humbling myself and by becoming willing to do whatever it took to find a better way of life. I also found that the people who truly cared about me were supportive in my decision to seek help. Looking back on where I was and where I am now, I’m forever grateful for the people who helped me along the way rediscover who I am as a person. I have a higher power now and a spiritual purpose for being alive. Furthermore, this was all made possible by surrendering and asking for help.
By Keelan Deuth
Client Support Specialist
Oregon Trail Recovery